Life Changes

An Excerpt from An Awakened Life by Julie Hoyle

It took some time to get used to the humming energy that had taken up residency in my body. I found power walking, Hatha Yoga and Tai Chi helped me assimilate and come into balance with it.

More importantly, though my life appeared to continue, as before, my perceptions and relationship to it were entirely different. It was as if the old yardstick used to measure and define emotional responses was no longer valid. In fact, it was as if it had been thrown out altogether, leaving in its place a deep inner peace and a calm acceptance of whatever challenges surfaced on any given day.

Between work, painting for exhibitions, attending the center and meditating at five am each morning, I was still very active and engaged.

However, the inner pace was tempered. It was as if someone had pulled the plug on all the responses to events that used to create tension in my life. They had simply vanished. Amazed, I could barely recognize myself any more.

Intriguingly, I also noticed something else occurring. Whenever asked to do something I would normally shy away from, a strong impulse would rise up and I would find myself saying, “Yes.”

For example, after hearing about my Shaktipat experience, Tony Wallas called. “Would you give an experience share next week during the program?” he asked.

I immediately agreed and then put the phone down wondering how I could have assented to doing something I was so afraid of. Even thinking about sharing my ‘inner world’ in a public forum had always been terrifying, and yet here I was agreeing. Only later did I come to understand these responses arose from the awakened self, rather than from the ego.

During this period, there was a series of powerful dreams illumining my awareness for days afterward. In one, I was standing at a beach barbeque, staring queasily at a large griddle straddling burning coals. Lying on top, were several thick, raw, steaks oozing blood, alongside which were a variety of other meat selections, equally in a raw and bloody state.

Watching silently were three deeply-wise looking yogis. Clad in nothing but white loincloths, they were barefoot and eyeing both the griddle and me intently. Deep within my unconscious, I knew I had ‘asked’ whether or not I should eat meat. That question had arisen because tastes for certain foods had fallen away; and although never a huge meat eater, I had been feeling distaste for it.

One of the yogis’ ventured, “This is your decision alone. A yogi eats only sattvic (pure) food in order to keep the inner fire burning. The awakened inner fire likes pure food.”

Another told me, “The microwave destroys prana, the natural energy of the food.” The day after that dream, I no longer had any desire left to eat meat, and the microwave, which at the time was only three weeks old, suddenly stopped working.

Another night, I ‘woke’ in a dream to find myself sitting with a gifted psychic and medium. We were laughing and playing with orbs of yellow, red, blue and green colored lights.

She was teaching me how to focus and move them with my thoughts. This ‘game’ went on for hours and I woke the next morning feeling very buoyant and expanded.

Since Tony was still dozing in bed. I decided to get up and make us both an early morning cup of tea. Walking into the lounge, I gasped at the sight of a bird-mobile lying on top of the cupboard.

For several moments, I stood shocked, my head reeling, feeling disoriented and trying to take everything in. The little wooden parrots, painted in yellow, red, blue and green, had been hanging from a hook in the ceiling on the other side of the room. Now, here they were silently greeting me.

I called out, “Tony, did you move the parrot mobile to the top of the bureau?” Tony answered sleepily, “No, why?” Amazed, I knew that my games during the night had somehow moved the mobile and I was being presented with the visual evidence.

Odd things were also happening to the electrical appliances in the cottage. Fans would spin wildly and then stop, going on and off even when there was no evident change in power. On several occasions when they weren’t even plugged in.

Late one evening on another occasion, Tony and I were sitting up in bed reading. The bedside lamps were on, as well as the main light, which were all fitted with regular seventy-five watt bulbs.

Suddenly, we gasped aloud as the main light began to grow in luminosity. Staring at the light and then at each other, our eyes widened as the light intensified. The room was bedazzled with the most incredible radiance, which I can only describe as being like sitting under the strongest floodlights in a football stadium.

Astonished, we started gasping and laughing. With that the light grew stronger until finally, with a loud pop, the bulb shattered into pieces.

What caused this strange phenomenon we were not able to say, though we perceived it probably had something to do with the powerful energy that had been awakened within me. For months strange experiences became almost commonplace and I was grateful that Tony was there to act as a witness.

Four months after initiation into this new state of awareness, I went to the post office to collect mail. Opening the mailbox I reached in and picked up a small, white envelope.

As my hand made contact, there was a powerful electric charge that traveled up through my arm, arriving with such force I gasped and took several steps back. At the same time, wave upon wave of joy flooded me powerfully, washing over and through my body and senses.

Shaking with anticipation, I turned the letter over to see who and where it could be from. The postmark was from a town in New York that I did not recognize.

Deciding to wait until I got home before opening the letter, I drove slowly, feeling an indescribable depth of emotion. At home, settling into a chair on the patio, I opened the letter. It was from India, sent via an ashram in New York. Emblazoned on the top, was a gold Om sign and underneath it read,

“Dear Julie,
Thank you so much for your beautiful letter and for sharing your incredible experience. The Teacher has asked me to write to tell you that sometimes Saints do come in dreams to give initiation. She wants you to know that initiation has taken place if your life has changed as a result.

With Many Blessings,
Shivani,
Personal Secretary to the Meditation Master.”

On reading these words, I began to cry. In that moment, I saw that my life had undergone profound changes. It was as if invisible water had been pouring steadily into my home, moving furniture and displacing doors and windows. It had happened so naturally, I hadn’t consciously noticed.

Now with the arrival of this letter, I was suddenly able to acknowledge what had been taking place. My life had become like this: standing chest-deep in a vast, glistening ocean, I was choosing not to resist. Instead, no matter what, I was choosing to flow with it. •

Next: Serving the Light »

© 2012 Julie Hoyle. All rights reserved.

Julie is a writer, spiritual teacher, natural intuitive and trans-personal hypnotherapist. Her profound spiritual awakening is detailed in her eBook, An Awakened Life — A Journey of Transformation. More »

Updated 1/17/14